Healing our wounds
When we are balanced and healed, we are powerhouses of light. We always are, but it’s hidden beneath all the conditioning and trauma we’ve accumulated throughout our lives. It gets passed down to us through the unhealed adults in our lives. They do so unconsciously because they’ve also been recipients of programming and trauma. And this is how cycles form. Healing our wounds is a very powerful form of self-love.
We know this to be true because we repeat patterns with our children. We either do things the same way our parents did, or we vow to do things differently. Either way, our childhood experiences shape who we are and how we live. We come into this world so present and perfect. A beautiful spirit. As we grow, the unhealed adults in our family, culture, and society begin unconsciously burying our spirit under all their programming and trauma. They tell us, “This is the way to live your life.”, “This is how we do things in this family.”, “Listen to me, I know best.” And slowly, we begin disconnecting from ourselves.
Our childhood dramatically impacts how we live in the present unless we heal from it.
Things come up all the time. More and more people are seeking help to deal with the things that weigh heavily on their spirits. Mental Health has become popular in schools, the media, and health systems (thankfully). We discuss all the things to do: exercise, get sleep, meditate, spend time in nature, journal, practice gratitude etc. Those are all WONDERFUL suggestions and things to practice and improve on. But those practices will only take you so far because they don’t go deep enough.
You can exercise regularly, eat healthily and get 8 hours of sleep a night, but still experience deep anger or rage. You can experience a lovely walk in nature with your family, but later when everyone is tucked in at night, you feel anxious and alone. Those, my dear, are unhealed wounds.
Depending on the life we’ve lived, some of us carry wounds that run deep. For example, if we grew up in abusive homes, witnessed financial instability or fighting, were entrusted with adult responsibilities when we were not mature enough or lived with huge expectations placed upon us, those are all profound wounds.
And they are coming up to be healed and let go. They are being brought forth for healing only you can provide.
You cannot experience deep joy, love or fulfillment if you do not heal your wounds.
You do not need to sit and examine every thought or feeling coming up, nor do you need to find the root of every wound. Sometimes the root is crystal clear; other times, it’s not. And that’s ok. Just the fact that emotions and feelings are coming up is enough to tell you there is healing that needs to be done. But how do we know what needs to be healed?
When you get emotional about something, it’s because it’s a wound.
For example, if you can’t talk about your weight, relationship with your spouse/parent/child, careers, health etc., without crying, there is a clear indicator pointing to a wound. If a child falls and hurt themselves, they cry because it hurts. Not all of us cry now because we that’s not how we dealt with pain as children.
What did you do as a child when you were hurt? Did you cry? Get angry? Did you hide the pain? Did you think no one cared you were hurt? Whatever you did as a child is most likely what you do today when you’re hurt. Follow that.
When you’re feeling strong emotions about something (ex., sadness, anxiety, anger, resentment, shame etc.), those are clear indicators of wounds that need healing. And just like a child who has fallen, it is very powerful to soothe yourself in the way only you can. Be loving, compassionate, kind and patient with yourself. Healing takes time. It is a process. And it is something only you can do for yourself.